


here come the regrets

by Eoki



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Exes, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 02:12:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12807381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eoki/pseuds/Eoki
Summary: maggie thought they’d had it all, that they’d be together for their definition of forever. but five years down the road, the sutures that hold the old wounds close are torn open, and maggie is just another stranger to alex.so, what happens when you get a second chance with someone you loved?orsanvers exes au.





	here come the regrets

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i'm back with more angst.  
> enjoy!  
> playlist for this fic: https://open.spotify.com/user/auxuro/playlist/1ruwhV8oxwA5SRw02B6bFE

“ Sawyer, we’ve got a situation, couple of tourists got into a little trouble with Kenny, “ a familiar voice says at the entrance of the door while Maggie looks up with a look of slight annoyance plastered on her face.

“ I was just about to get off work, Lane, there are other cops capable of handling this, “ Maggie exhales deeply as she stands up from her desk, glaring at her partner, “ you’ve officially ruined my weekend. “

“ Come on, tiny, Kenny called me, plus it’ll be fast, maybe you can hit on those tourists later on. “ Lucy shoots a smug grin at the detective who retaliates with a swift blow but light blow against her arm. 

After leaving National City five years ago, Maggie decided to move back to Nebraska, back to her hometown. Though she’s had more bad than good memories here, between National City and Nebraska, picking her hometown was similar to picking the lesser of two evils. But she’s pretty much settled in since then, she found a steady job with the local police which she enjoys and it was less demanding compared to her job at the NCPD, though she still misses nabbing aliens every now and then.

Lucy moved a little while before Maggie, deciding that she didn’t enjoy the life in the army as much as being a local cop. The two became quick friends after shutting down an alien drug syndicate and they’ve been good partners ever since. The two mostly bond over aliens and guns, and occasionally memories of National City.

“ We’re pretty much the same size. “ Maggie grumbles as she follows her partner out the door.

Lucy lets out a laugh as she slings an arm over Maggie’s shoulder, “ I’ll buy you a drink after we’ve handled the situation. “

" I gladly accept. "

Lucy stops the car by Kenny’s bar, officers would drop by for a drink sometimes since it’s a five minute drive from the station. Needless to say, Maggie is a regular here. The two cops stroll into the dimly lit bar where an argument could clearly be heard. She sees the supposed tourists arguing with Kenny, one of the ladies is holding her friend back in an attempt to calm things, though it’s hardly working.

“ Alright, break it up, “ Lucy says in her cop voice while Maggie merely follows behind as support, unhappy because her weekend plans are essentially disrupted because of this ridiculous dispute.

The lady picking a fight with Kenny turns around and glares at the two of them with drunken fury. Maggie can’t seem to pull her gaze off the woman in front of her, she hasn’t changed a bit, with the exception of the effects of aging. The cop freezes up in her spot, fingers trembling with some kind of unknown fear. It feels as if all her repressed emotions have resurfaced again, crashing into her all at once. She couldn’t deal with this back then, what makes it possible for her now? Maggie pushes back all urges to just run out of the bar and drive away, drive as far as possible because of the woman standing in front of her.

The same woman she left back in National City five years ago. 

_ Alex Danvers. _

“ _Alex?_ “ Lucy gasps with surprise while strolling over to the agent, and if Maggie is surprised that the two know each other, she’s hiding it rather well.

“ Lucy? Lucy! “ Alex’s mouth forms a huge ‘o’ as she registers the cop in front of her, “ What are you doing here? “

Lucy smiles while she briefly flashes her badge, “ To break up this fight, Danvers, I’ll let you go alright, just go back and have a good rest. “

“ Look, I’m sorry, we don’t want any trouble, she’s had a little too much to drink, “ Alex’s friend apologizes quickly, “ we’ll just be on our way. “

“ _Honey_ , I’m not drunk, “ Alex slurs as she stumbles nearer to the cops with all intention of handling it on her own.

Maggie realises the supposed friend is probably Alex’s girlfriend, and she can’t help but feel the whole scene is some punishment from the universe. She couldn’t deal with this back then, and she can’t deal with this now.

So she leaves.

The detective slowly backs away, Lucy notices it immediately and is about to question her when she sees the apparent fear in her eyes. When Lucy lets her go, she bolts out the door instantly. Her hands ball into fists, and she clenches and unclenches them continuously to try to ease the anxiety she’s feeling. Maggie sits in the passenger seat of the car, staring into the streets. It looked like a normal day to her, same crowd, same town, but it didn’t feel normal anymore. 

“ Hey, “ Lucy places a gentle hand on Maggie’s shoulder as she enters the vehicle, “ are you okay? “

Maggie hesitates before nodding silently, okay can’t even begin to describe everything she’s feeling. She needs time to process everything, she still needs time to heal from Alex, maybe she’ll take all the time and never heal.

“ Are you sure? You look like you knew Alex, you can tell me anything, Mags. “ Lucy smiles reassuringly at her partner who’s clearly shaken from the encounter, she doesn’t want to push Maggie, but something must have happened between the two.

“ Did you handle the situation? “ Maggie asks quietly despite having so many burning questions regarding Alex, she prefers not to talk about it, she’d rather run again, like she did before.

“ Yeah, it’s all good, Kenny’s just glad they’re gone. “

Maggie mumbles a quiet okay and falls back into silence. Alex stumbles out with her girlfriend who supports her easily, they giggle as they stroll down the sidewalk to hail a cab and somehow, seeing Alex happy didn’t feel right to Maggie. They were supposed to get married, get a house, get a dog, work cases and arrest criminals … but they lost it all because of her mistake. She can’t help but let the tears out when she sees Alex give her girlfriend a passionate kiss on the lips. It’s been five years and the pain has never felt fresher, she should be that woman next to Alex, she should’ve stayed and work things through, she should’ve tried.

“ Whatever it is, “ Lucy sighs, “ I hope returning to National City will make it better. “

If better meant that she’d finally let go of Alex, Maggie would be on the first flight back to National City.

* * *

 

Alex Danvers, DEO agent, sister to the one and only Supergirl, fiancée to a brilliant scientist. Thirty four is a good age on her, her fiancée wouldn’t disagree. The past few years have been kind to her, she’s been consistently tracking down criminals, protecting National City along with Supergirl. Now, she’s about to marry the love of her life in a few months, and things couldn’t get any better. Except for this hangover she’s currently experiencing, that could be much better.

Alex finally took a break from the DEO after years of non-stop work, heck she didn’t even rest for more than a day after waking up from a two week coma. Kara and J’onn had both agreed she deserved a nice vacation with her fiancée who was more than happy to pull her away from work. They settled on Nebraska somehow, Alex just felt a strong urge to be there and there were no disagreements, after all, it was a vacation for her. 

So waking up hungover in the hotel room is all part of a relaxing holiday, except for the fact that she feels something is a little off. Call it instinct, call it a gut feeling, she can’t really put a finger on it.

“ Good morning, honey, “ Emile, her amazing fiancée, strolls out of the bathroom in her oversized shirt, “ how are you feeling? “

“ Horrible, “ Alex groans as she buries her face in the soft pillows, “ why’d you let me drink so much? “

Emile giggles and shakes her head at her fiancée, “ Do I need to remind you that you were the one who wanted to let loose? “

“ Let’s not rub it in while I have a hangover. “ Alex huffs while reaching to pull Emile closer. 

Her fiancée laughs and gladly joins the agent in bed, though they had slightly over a day left in Nebraska, they’d prefer cuddling in bed and basking in the other’s presence.

* * *

 

Returning to National City meant that Alex is thrown back into the hectic life of a DEO agent, the crime rates were on the rise recently, more illegal alien trafficking rings have been showing up on the radar and well, they haven’t been coping well.

She grumbles at the thought of the NCPD upsizing their Science Division, Alex never thought they were really good at anything, except for getting in the way. So when she pulls up on a fresh crime scene surrounded by NCPD cars, it’s needless to say her mood went downhill.

Supergirl is already there, looking for evidence that the NCPD might have missed out. Alex exhales sharply as she stands beside the Kryptonian, surveying the scene as the NCPD taints her crime scene.

“ Anything? “ Alex asks as she crosses her arms.

Supergirl shakes her head, crinkle beginning to form, “ It’s probably the same ring, honestly do they really think they can get away with it so easily? “

“ We’ll get them soon, “ Alex reassures, “ I’m going to take a look around. “

The agent inspects the vicinity of the building and rather than looking for clues, Alex finds herself staring at a petite detective crouching over some evidence. There’s something about her that makes the Danvers feel like she knows that detective, like they’ve met before, maybe in a dream or somewhere along the streets.

A gentle nudge breaks her train of thought and she turns to look at the person standing next to her, it’s none other than Lucy Lane, the new chief of the NCPD Science Division.

“ Like what you see? “ Lucy teases jokingly.

Alex scoffs and rolls her eyes, “ I’m engaged, in case you didn’t know. “

“ Well, I didn’t till that night at the bar, “ Lucy sighs in an exasperated tone, “ how did you manage to keep this from me for so long? “

“ Considering we only speak during the holidays, I’d say it was pretty easy. “

Lucy elbows the agent again and shakes her head while Alex dodges easily with a laugh.

“ Say, “ Alex begins to speak, her eyes on the detective again, “ was she at the bar that night too? “

“ Who? Maggie? “

“ Yeah, that cop there. “

The chief raises an eyebrow as she becomes more curious at Alex’s tone, “ She was, what’s up? “

“ It’s nothing, she looked familiar that’s all. “ Alex tries to brush it off, as if she didn’t feel some kind of connection to her. 

“ Well, maybe you should meet her. “ Lucy suggests before calling Maggie over.

The detective had been so focused on studying the evidence at the scene, she didn’t even notice that the DEO had arrived. Her body tenses up at the sight of Alex and Lucy standing together, Maggie didn’t even need to guess what’s going on, Lucy’s going to try to introduce them. She clenches her jaw as she mentally prepares herself to meet Alex, again. Maggie wants to bolt so badly though she knows she can’t keep running away from this, eventually she would have to meet Alex again. This moment has been nothing more than a fantasy for the last five years, but in her fantasy, Alex remembers who she was, Alex still loved her. 

But in this reality, _Maggie is just another stranger to her_.

Maggie pulls herself together before casually strolling to the two, she tries to convince herself that saying hi wouldn’t hurt, she can leave right after, “ Hey. “ 

“ Mags, meet Alex Danvers, Secret Service. Alex, meet Maggie Sawyer, one of my detectives. “ Lucy quickly introduces.

Alex eagerly extends a hand out with a curt nod, “ Nice to meet you, Detective Sawyer. “

The detective blanks out for a moment, memories from the years before all came back at once and she had to pull herself back into reality.

“ Likewise, Agent Danvers, “ Maggie responds with a firm handshake, “ I should get back to work. “ 

Maggie bolts at the first chance she gets, she needs to get out of there before she breaks down completely. She can’t stop the pounding in her chest, the heartbeat rising to a loud crescendo as if the thoughts in her head aren’t loud enough.

* * *

 

“ You know Alex, don't you? “

Lucy breaks the unbearable silence that they were in, Maggie had bolted to the car and just sat there without moving for a good ten minutes.

The detective bites her lower lip harshly and bobs her head up and down once, she remembers the pain, the guilt, the love, everything she had with Alex. She fights the lump in her throat as she struggles to think of a suitable reply.

“ I worked with her in the past, we’d solve cases, go on missions and whatnot. “ Maggie chokes back her tears, god, she really missed Alex and seeing her with someone else that night, seeing her today again, seems to have torn apart the sutures on her wound.

Something is amiss, Lucy notes, “ But … Alex didn’t recognise you back there … Nor at the bar … “ she furrows her eyebrows as she tries to piece things together.

That feels like a stab in her chest, the pain she thought she’s gotten used to is suddenly reignited, this time it hurts tenfolds than it did initially. 

How would Alex ever recognise her?

“ She can’t recognise me … _because she doesn’t remember me._ “ Maggie chokes out as tears escape her lashes, she wipes them away quickly, sniffling and inhaling deeply to control her emotions.

“ What? “

“ She doesn’t remember me. “

Lucy stares at her with confusion, clearly not understanding the whole situation, “ What do you mean? “

Maggie draws a deep breath and turns to face her partner, “ She got into a really bad accident … entered into a coma and when she woke up, she didn’t remember me. “

She didn’t remember _us_ , Maggie adds mentally.

The other detective’s eyes widen with surprise which turns into a frown, “ No one’s ever mentioned it to me, and I even visit them every year! “

“ I suppose they didn’t want to worry you, after all, you’re not the one who she forgot. “ Maggie responds dryly and glances in the direction of the DEO squad cars.

Nothing about this was going to be easy, Maggie knew that when she accepted the job to return to National City. She was wrong to think that when they crossed paths again, she could finally heal. What a fool she’d been, meeting Alex again makes her cling onto her pain, the guilt, the regret, the choices she had made back then.

Lucy places a gentle hand on Maggie’s which lay on her lap, “ How did you guys meet? “ she asks softly, hoping that her partner wouldn’t shut her out.

“ We met on a case five years ago, “ Maggie begins to say, her sentences barely audible as she watches Alex stroll around the crime scene, “ then we started working together, dating and eventually … she proposed to me … “

A large sob escapes her lungs and Lucy reaches over to pull her in for a hug, “ It’s alright, you don’t have to continue, how about we get some drinks and complain about people? “ she says in an attempt to cheer her partner up.

Maggie shakes her head as she wipes the tears with the back of her hand, she’s held it in for five years, but it’s getting harder to bottle things up now.

“ A month before our wedding, Alex got into a really bad accident because of me and she slipped into a mild coma, “ the detective sighs deeply, she remembers rushing Alex to the hospital, the sleepless nights she spent in Alex’s ward, praying that she would wake up soon, her voice cracks at the memories, “ two weeks later when she woke up, she had no memoriesof me, she didn’t remember anything from after we met … “

Lucy runs a hand down her arm reassuringly while Maggie draws a deep breath to keep going, she knew she’d have to work through this eventually, but she never expected it to be five years after leaving.

“ Did you know how painful it was … “ Maggie exhales, grinding her teeth and biting the insides of her cheek to stop her chest from hurting when she remembers the confused look on Alex’s face, “ to see the woman I love just forget me and look at me as if I was a stranger? It felt like I wasn’t important enough for her to remember me! I wanted her to get better, I wanted to help her heal, I wanted her to remember me, remember everything we did, everything we had … “

“ But you left … “ 

“ My guilt got in the way and I just couldn’t do it! Seeing her again, seeing that same look she gave me five years ago just brought back everything and I’m sorry for running but it hurts too much to even stand in the same place as her! “

“ Oh, Mags … “ Lucy whispers as she pulls her friend in for a tight hug, “ I wish you told me earlier … “

“ Me too … “ Maggie chokes out with slight relief, her shoulders feel a little lighter now that she’s got this out of her chest.

It’s been five years but some things never change, _she still loved Alex._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, leave a comment/kudos!  
> i've got most of the fic planned out but i'm not sure how often i'll actually write so like ha  
> anyway, as usual, feel free to hmu on damnsawyer.tumblr.com, i have a whole ass playlist for this fic.  
> xo.


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